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[01 May 2006|05:13am] |
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Livejournal update? Sure, why not? Life is going greatly right now. I'm actually a bit saddened by the lack of people there will be after summer as many of my friends will be going away to college or going elsewhere to college, but with that comes happiness for them, and best wishes. School life isn't going as well as I would like, and it's really bothering me, I need to make some changes and stick to what I say. Better get some discipline now while I'm young. I have an amazing boyfriend, and to those of you who have known me since I got this, this is like....the 5th or something time I've said that on here, but it's true. He's amazing, and he makes me smile, and I'm really happy. Work is slightly insane, but not too shabby. Wish Deb was still manager. If school could keep my attention for a sustained period of time rather than sporadic intervals, I would be much more successful I do believe. So....today, woke up at....1030ish? Lunch with Dad, study with Matt, chill with Brian, chill with mah baby, work on homework(up all night), enlist Brian's help at acceptable o' clock in the morning(when I get uber bored and decide to wake him up), class at 11, over at 1, homework til 4, work til 930, bed time? maybe. doubtful though since I have a lot of stuff due. I might receive my first failing grade ever. I either need to cut down work hours or cut down school hours, but I desperately need both. Fuck this.
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[31 Mar 2006|06:37pm] |
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explain.
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| serious moments of self doubt |
[24 Mar 2006|03:18am] |
Maybe I'm not as put-together as I think I am. Maybe things affect me more than I let them outwardly affect me. All I know is that I made a vow to myself to be strong and to take what I've got and to live my life. I make rather loose ties with people I've known for a shorter amount of time, like, I used to become good friends with people quick, and now, I really don't care(with the exception of a few) who flits in or out of my life. But maybe I do care. I haven't questioned myself on this matter in a long time, but now, sitting here, thinking about everything, I let my mind to wander to such nonsense as thinking I might be wrong about myself. Maybe it's just that...
Maybe I don't make sense to anyone but myself. Whatev. sup lj.
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[16 Mar 2006|08:01am] |
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I would enjoy life as a cat. Cept that whole going-into-heat thing. But if I were one of my cats, life would be oh so silly.
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| thinking out loud |
[28 Feb 2006|02:20pm] |
One day I will have a day of no obligations and no plans, and I will sit and read, and write, and sleep. I will treat myself to a nice dinner and some tea, and take a long walk as the sun goes down. I will forget about work, school, and people, and there will be nothing but me. Right now, the days just mesh together, and no time is distinct from another. I miss days due to school, I miss nights due to work, and I miss sleep in general.
I wonder how many people I pass or see or talk to each day that simply look me in the eye and lie.
I really want to buy a house. Despite being ill-prepared to do such a thing, it's something I want. I will take my Charlie with me, and I will decorate it however I like, and I will have a room that has books from wall to wall, with lines from each that I like painted on the walls. And that's pretty much the only room that matters. I don't care what the rest are like, as long as I have my little space.
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[23 Feb 2006|02:15pm] |
Dear Vons,
You are one big drama bitch fest waiting to explode.
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[21 Feb 2006|09:08am] |
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Sleep failed. I would really enjoy knowing how my background went from black to light purple without me doing anything, but not so concerned to really put effort to it. There's that whole birthday thing coming up....should me and stacy go with the bonfire on the beach idea? Or, like all past times, is that just not going to end up not working? let me know if you want to go, or if another idea is more suitable, or if you just feel compelled to say something, do so. Uhm, so that's it, I'm going to go attend class now. Peace.
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[21 Feb 2006|07:34am] |
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I'm going back to bed. Night.
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[11 Feb 2006|12:47pm] |
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So my boyfriend just left me to go clubbing in Portugal for a week. What a boob.
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[05 Feb 2006|10:33am] |
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Is life really crazy, or are we the crazy ones putting the blame on something other than ourselves? That would be very human of us; relinquishing all responsibility onto something other than us so we can sleep better at night. Too many people create problems for themselves and get frustrated because it doesn't work how they planned. I'm done with that. I am happy right now, and to maintain that, overindulgence need not happen. I want to see Brittany again, but finding time off and bying a plane ticket are things that would complicate life more. But it's worth it. Breanna Pflaumer really needs to not be sick. She went in for her 10th surgery last night. I'm not going into detail for personal reasons, but it's not good. Please pray. Does that help? Praying. Does tlaking to God really enstill such comfort and hope that we must all engage in the activity every once in a while? Not for me. For me, it's a load of bullshit, and I'm tired of people saying "God wanted it to be." or "He will do what he must" or some useless banter like that. Fuck God if he doesn't want to protect a young girl dying slowly and painfully. That isn't an all-loving being to me. Shit happens people. That's my explanation.
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| Alright livejournal, let's do this |
[01 Feb 2006|01:44am] |
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Two very contrasting emotions are running through me right now. I choose to concentrate on the giddy school girl one. :]
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[30 Jan 2006|02:12am] |
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It feels good, that whole....feeling thing. I like it.
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[28 Jan 2006|02:53am] |
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ugh. Night got ungood. Tomato will be ungood too prolly. And the next I work. harumph.
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[27 Jan 2006|11:40am] |
Hey livejournal, what's up?
Not much Katie, what's up with you, haven't seen you in a while?
Oh yanno, just updating and reading about people's lives.
sweet, anything cool?
not especially. Maverick writes awesome stuff, so I thank him for gracing me with his writing. Tarantism is chill, but I saw that picture last night. I want Brian to post more shit about complete sacrafice...oh wait, they finally took a spelling lesson...sacrifice. Uhm, yeah, that's it. Apparently finals are over at the high school too.
Cool. Hope to see ya soon.
Yeah, don't count on it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOOOOOKIE <3333333333333
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[19 Jan 2006|02:57am] |
I've made peace with the fact that I will not get to sleep tonight, and school tomato is going to suck in effect to that fact.
I would greatly enjoy seeing Dream Theater again at the Pantages.
I think life has a new value to me.
I think people have a new value to me.
I think I overreact in some situations.
Most of all, I think that despite the pain, most everything is worth it.
No, you probably will not reach a day where you actually understand me, or really anyone for that matter, so I highly request not trying.
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[04 Jan 2006|12:13am] |
Dear lj,
you suck.
<3 Katie
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[10 Dec 2005|07:08pm] |
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So I'm totally loving how everything I predicted as far as people going off to collge goes.....actually...it sucks. The only personwho has left for college and still really kept in touch with me is Brittany. And she fuckin went to Colorgoddamnrado. This doesnt go toany people who are MP-ing it up, I chill with you guys all the time, I justfigured I had better friendships with some people thanto lose them to a couple of miles of college
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[08 Dec 2005|11:31am] |
So I haven't written in a while. Been pretty good. Boys are confusing like woah though, but it's nothing I can't handle. Been working and schooling and partying, I'm pretty much lovin' it. And now school's out for a month...so I'm going to work my ass off hopefully. But yea, there's really nothing to complain about, and things are actually going good. tiiight.
Was that convincing? i sure hope so. :[
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[21 Nov 2005|11:57am] |
"one day."
Quite possibly one of the worst phrases to say to someone.
I never deleted you from my life.
I tried to cover the mess, but it would not disappear.
But I never left.
So when you want me back in your life,
just click "add."
Until then.
Don't ask me questions. I can't answer them right now.
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[19 Nov 2005|03:31am] |
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Sometimes livejournal feels like a news program. Random updates about people rarely seen or talked to, but you still "know" them because you read their lj's and are thus hip to their life. Yeah, it's sad when friendships get reduced to lj. It's sad when the only a friend some people go to is this thing to write their troubles in rather than talk to the friends they are eventually releasing all of their "secret" information to. Well, here's the news program on my life as of late. Still vonsing it up. College is high school all over again...which is not a good thing. I got me a license. I hate how the things I chase after and that mean the most to me shouldn't mean so much, because anything that's worth my time should make me worth its time, but I feel like I'm the only one in the game. But at the same time I feel like anything worth having is worth fighting for. I've decided I completely loathe all of those little sayings people tell eachother to make it better. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" "everything will work out" "you're strong, you can handle it" and such phrases of the like. What the fuck does any of that mean? If you love someone, you love them...end of story. Everything will only work out if you make it work out. The reason I came to you was because I felt weak, so don't make that counterproductive by then telling me how strong I am....just fucking comfort me. Not saying any of this because I've recently experienced the phrases, I was just thinking about how people go about making others feel better, and it really only seems like they say that shit as a scapegoat....so they don't have to deal with people's problems and they can just go on with their own narcisisstic existences. Now I am just thinking out loud. Goodnight.
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